You Don't Want to Lose 30 Pounds

For years, I kept saying I wanted to lose 30 pounds. I honestly believed that if I could just get the weight off, I'd finally look the way I imagined in my head. I pictured myself seeing abs in the mirror, more curves, more muscle definition, a smaller waist, and finally feeling proud of what I saw. I thought all of that was hiding underneath the fat.

So I did what most women do. I dieted. I started over every Monday. I celebrated when the scale went down and panicked when it went up. I was convinced that if I could just lose a little more, everything would finally click.

Then I reached my goal weight. Instead of feeling excited, I remember looking at myself and wondering, Why do I still not look the way I thought I would? I wasn't upset because I hadn't lost enough weight. I was upset because I realized the picture I had created in my mind didn't match the body I was looking at.

No one had ever explained something so simple to me. Losing fat doesn't automatically create the body you're dreaming about. It reveals the body you currently have. The definition I wanted, the curves I wanted, the shape I wanted... none of that was waiting underneath my body fat. It had to be built. That realization changed everything.

For the first time, I stopped chasing a smaller number on the scale and started learning how to build muscle. I hired a coach, learned how to lift weights correctly, and slowly began understanding why I had spent years disappointed after every diet. I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just expecting weight loss to do a job that only strength training could do.

Looking back now, I also realize I spent a long time believing life had simply happened to me. I blamed getting older, having kids, being busy, and never having enough time. It felt like one day I woke up in a body I didn't recognize. But that isn't really what happened.

My body was created the same way everyone's body is created—one decision at a time. One skipped workout. One stressful week. One fast-food meal because I was exhausted. One promise that I'd start again on Monday. Those small choices added up over months and years until they became my reality.

The beautiful part is that the opposite is true too. The body I have today wasn't built in one big moment. It was built the same way one workout, one meal, one decision at a time. Every time I chose to lift weights instead of chasing another crash diet, I was building the woman I had been looking for all along.

I also live with Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD). There were times when that diagnosis scared me. Any health condition can be overwhelming when you first hear it, and it's easy to let fear convince you that your future has already been decided. But one thing I've learned is that while I can't control every diagnosis, I can control how I care for my body.

That's why I don't rely on social media to tell me what's happening inside my body. I work with my healthcare team, I get regular blood work, and I pay attention to my results. Those lab tests tell me far more than a viral video or a stranger's opinion ever could. The internet can be a great place to learn and find encouragement, but it should never replace understanding your own health.

Your body deserves more than guesses. Know your numbers.

Ask questions.

Review your lab work with your healthcare provider. Learn how your body responds instead of assuming it's the same as everyone else's.

If you're telling yourself you just want to lose 30 pounds, I understand because I used to say the exact same thing. But I'd encourage you to ask yourself one more question.

What do you think you'll look like after you lose it?

Because if the picture in your mind includes muscle definition, curves, strength, and shape, then your goal isn't simply to lose weight. Your goal is to build a body.

I wish someone had told me that years ago. It would have saved me so much frustration, so many Mondays, and so many tears standing in front of the mirror wondering why I still wasn't seeing the woman I thought was waiting underneath the weight.

She wasn't hiding there. She was waiting for me to build her. With protein, lifting weights, supplements, blood tests and waist trainers I designed for my body with kidney disease.